The Sky, Dawn and Sun
by lilgenious
Summary: Remus contemplates the wonders of the sunrise and decides one morning to get up and view it like he always did. He wonders just what the sunrise means to him; Sirius finds him and seeks this answer as well.


_For Sylvia; Happy belated birthday! _

_A:N- this story is unbeta-ed, mistakes in characterisation are completely mine._

The Sky, Dawn and Sun

There was something that had always fascinated him about the sunrise, perhaps it was the fact that the sun never rose but always stayed in place that intrigued him enough to watch it each day or maybe it was the association that with each new sunrise, it brought forth a new beginning. Was it really the promise of a new beginning that made people enjoy the sunrise so much? Remus wasn't so sure. He had always thought that it was the beauty of the oldest star known to man to rise and set each day, but what if it also meant that it could also bring forth a new beginning as well? Whatever the reason, Remus enjoyed watching the day come to life with each rise of the bright star.

Remus smiled softly as he looked up at the sky, from his spot by the Great Lake he could watch the heavens open up with beautiful colours, usually light pink, orange, yellow and purple. If there were any towering clouds in the sky, they would come to life with the colours of morning and whenever Remus saw this phenomenon, he was reminded of the pictures in books about the paradise that most believed in. To Remus, who was nothing more than a keen observer, it truly was the sky opening up to all on earth and showing those like Remus that they could be happy along with those who did not know what it meant to suffer.

His smile faded when he thought about what life would have been like if he hadn't met Fenrir Greyback all those years ago. He would be happy and always smiling, he wouldn't be in so much pain everyday and bear horrible scars that made people look at him twice whenever he got out. One thing was for certain, he wouldn't be so desperate to get friends and fit in if he was a normal human being, he wouldn't be so careful around people hoping that nobody noticed that he disappeared every full moon or carried around those scars that were so noticeable that it made a lot of people, especially the friends that he had managed to make and keep wince and look away.

"Remus, if you want to talk to somebody about what is happening to you and where you're getting those deep wounds, you know you can always have me to confide in." Sirius had told him one day, he looked so concerned that Remus had to look away. He did not know the thoughts that had crossed his friend's mind that day but the concern in his voice, mixed with pity made Remus hate himself even more.

Of course it wasn't too long after that day that Sirius came to the realisation that Remus disappeared more often in the week leading up to the full moon and confronted him about it before he was to go to the Whomping Willow for his turning.

"Why didn't you trust me?" Sirius had asked, James and Peter had been present throughout the long confession, eager to know what was really happening to their friend. The moment that Sirius had asked this question however, James put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

"I think," James said as he gazed over at Remus, a look of pity in his hazel eyes. "That Remus had answered to enough for today."

At the time, Remus did not have an answer to that question and now that he thought about it three years afterwards, he still could not answer that question. How could he? His friends would only view him as a coward if he ever told them that the reason he never told them was that he was terrified that they would leave him. The fear of desertion overcame his fear of being found out by the other students of the school, he didn't know what he would do if Sirius, James and Peter weren't by his side and were against him.

Slightly overwhelmed, Remus turned his attention back to the sky and his excitement rose. Any moment now, the sun was going to rise and bring light to the world and it was this that made him forget all of his previous dark thoughts. His eyes went directly to the spot that he knew he would get to see the first glimpse of the huge star and he waited with abated breath, eager to see the sun's triumphant return to the sky.

Remus didn't have to wait for long, the upper edge of the sun appeared on the horizon, a bright orange and yellow fireball that began to quickly rise into the morning sky and brighten up the world as it did so. The grounds of Hogwarts was bathed in light and when Remus found that the sun was too bright to look at as it quickly lost the orange and became a bright yellow, he focused his attention instead on the beauty of the morning.

A robin was perched on the remains of a tree trunk, its orange chest and face was immediately recognizable by Remus who had often seen the birds around the garden back home. He knew from past experience that these birds were unafraid of human contact and had been witness to a few occasions as a child where he would see the robins patiently wait for his mother to unearth the earthworms within the small garden out front. He called out to the bird, mimicking its natural call perfectly and smiled softly when the bird hopped a few steps and called back.

"I thought I'd find you here."

Startled, Remus quickly turned his head to see who it was that spoke. The first person on his mind was a professor or worse, Snape. Instead, the person standing behind him was none other than Sirius and in his hand he carried a napkin with a few pieces of buttered toast.

"How did you know that I was here?" he asked grumpily as he rubbed a crick in his neck.

Sirius did not answer right away, choosing instead to seat himself beside Remus and hand him the food that he had saved for him. Hungrily, Remus wolfed down the first piece of toast and eyed Sirius curiously.

"I noticed that you weren't in the dormitory when I awoke so I went down to the Great Hall to see if you were there instead," Sirius said as he watched him eat. "I overheard Snivellus telling his two Slytherin buddies; Mulciber and Avery that he followed you down to the lake."

Remus frowned when he heard this bit of news. He had been extremely careful this time about sneaking out of the castle in the early morning darkness, he had made sure that nobody had seen him when he came out and he had only ducked into classrooms twice, once to avoid Filch and another to avoid Peeves who had muttered something about creating a trap. Other than that, the corridors of Hogwarts were empty as he made his way down to the Entrance Hall.

"I didn't see or hear anybody when I came down here," he said at last.

"I was worried that he would have tried to get back at what we did to him the day before yesterday."

"I wasn't even there," Remus said indignantly. "Peter and I were in the library to do research for that essay that McGonagall wants done by next Monday. We found out about it later when I heard Marlene praise Lily for a hex that caused James to bray like a donkey! Why would Snape even want to get back at me for what you two did?"

"Because you're a friend of ours," Sirius said softly. "And as our friend, you're directly in the line of fire."

Remus sighed as he gazed into the water of the Great Lake, as much as he loved his friends he really did wish that they would stop in their bullying of Snape. "What did Severus do to you to deserve such treatment, Sirius?"

"You know what he did, Remus." Sirius looked at him defiant, his grey eyes had turned stormy and a look of hatred was upon his face. "He deserves my hatred for that much."

Remus decided to tread more carefully this time. "Sirius, we are all influenced by the people that come into our lives everyday and Severus is no exception. Is that really a reason to hate a man?"

"He has Death Eater ideals, Remus!" Sirius looked angry but Remus knew that it wasn't at him that the anger was directed. "My family reveres the principles of the Death Eaters; they can't wait for the day that the world contorts to the way they want it to. My brother is fascinated with the dark arts almost as much as Snivellus is."

He put an arm around Sirius' shoulders and for the next several minutes they were silent, both gazed out at the Great Lake. They could see the Giant Squid sunbathing in the warm sunlight, teasing the birds that flew over its lake by making its tentacles still, mimicking a branch over water. Amused, Remus and Sirius chuckled as they watched the Squid's new amusement.

"Sirius," Remus said at last, he had released his friend and was now looking at him. "Just because your family has those ideals for a better world, doesn't mean that you're going to be like them. You're better than that, I know that much."

"I better be," Sirius said firmly. "I don't want to follow in my family's footsteps and be as ignorant as they are."

The two sat in silence again, drinking in the early morning beauty. The sun was getting more fierce in the sky and Remus found that it was getting much too hot to sit beneath it, he longed to get into the shade or else into the cool of the castle. From the look on Sirius' face, he could tell that his best friend thought the same thing.

"You know," Sirius said with a hint of a smile on his face. "I always wonder why you love the sunrise so much."

"I guess that I feel that with each sunrise it is an opportunity to have a new beginning," Remus said as he got to his feet before holding out a hand to Sirius to help him get up. "You know, how the sun rises each morning to show us that a new day has begun? It is a new beginning to me."

Sirius frowned in thought as they made their way back up to the castle. "Each day is a new beginning. Do you believe that is really true, Remus?"

"Yes. Each day is a new beginning and brings promise to the entire world."

Sirius contemplated this for a few minutes in silence, amused, Remus watched him. "I believe that is true about each day being so full of promise," he said at last and his grey eyes sought out Remus' brown ones. "We live each day complaining about our lives without realising that each day brings forth a new beginning for us to take advantage of."

Remus smiled at this. "I couldn't have put it better myself, Sirius."

The two friends walked in silence the rest of the way back to the castle and Remus could not help but feel that there was something troubling his friend that provoked him to be this silent. It was uncanny almost, as Sirius was known for his incessant chatter, but before he could open his mouth to speak, they had reached the doors to the castle.

"Hang on a moment." Remus held Sirius' arm before the latter could open the door. "Sirius, is there something bothering you?"

The grey eyes widened in shock but the owner of them shook his head. "My mind is on something else right now, that is all."

"If you want to talk to somebody about what is going on, you know that you have me to confide in," said Remus, repeating the very words that Sirius had said to him all those years ago.

"I know."

With these words, Sirius pushed open the door and together, they walked into the Entrance Hall of the castle.


End file.
